Well, you knew it was coming, and I must admit that this one was much easier to write. It was so easy to write that I had to force myself to cut it short, somewhere over 5,000 words, and break it into separate articles.
Now, in fairness, I'm not trying to bash Las Vegas for sport. I tried to love it. Really, I did.
Think about it, I loved the town so much that I picked up and moved here at great expense. I lived here for 6 years and tried everything I could (including moving 3 times within the city) to make it work. Most of you out there who claim to love Las Vegas and think that I am crucifying it for no reason probably cannot say the same.
I didn't sit around talking about moving to Vegas. I got off my ass and did it. I came, I saw, I lived it, I immersed myself, and I experienced it all first-hand.
There is a portion of the population out there who simply prefer that the myth of Las Vegas stay intact. There is another group that makes money by living in and/or promoting Las Vegas for their own financial gain.
Both of these groups hate what I do, and will probably be offended by this list. That's not my problem. If you are solidly in the "I Heart Las Vegas" camp, then this is not Sunday reading in which you will want to partake. Consider this fair warning.
For everyone else -- take this list for what it is.
My honest, unabashed opinion.
1) The Weather
Far and away the biggest reason that I could not continue to live in Las Vegas.
In general, a planet must have three things to support life: Liquid water, nutritious soil, and an energy source.
Las Vegas really only has one of the above ... the sun as an energy source.
It only rains 4 inches each year in Las Vegas. To put this into perspective, the national average for US cities is 40 inches ... roughly 10 times the amount that falls in Vegas. The lack of water combined with high heat makes life inhospitable for most carbon-based life forms. I suppose this is why it's called the desert. It's nearly deserted of natural life.
Sure, you can stay indoors in the air conditioning for 6 months out of the year ... but then you must endure such pleasantries as constantly recycled air, nosebleeds, dry eyes, dry skin, and a general discomfort that just feels inexplicably "wrong". Humans weren't meant to live in artificial climate bubbles. I mean, John Travolta needs to do so for health reasons, but the rest of us need not endure such an indignity.
While Vegas winters are better, they are only moderately so. You still have sunny, dry weather, but instead of heat -- an omnipresent cold wind blows that makes outdoor activities almost as unpleasant as they are in the summer.
Hot, dry weather also negatively correlates to mental activities such as reading and writing. I firmly believe that the weather explains the general "dimness" of the Vegas population and I don't think it only affects natives. After only a few years, I began finding it much harder to concentrate and maintain my own creative endeavors. Las Vegas isn't conducive to thinking or creating, it is conducive to partying, kicking ass, and mindlessly screaming "Vegas Baby!".
I understand why tourists find the climate acceptable, and I myself find the weather perfectly tolerable for a few weeks at a time. The novelty, however, does wear off. Trust me. 105 degrees is cute for a week. On the 90th straight day, it's just oppressive.
There are 8-12 weeks out of the year where Las Vegas climate is "perfect" in the traditional sense, but these three months are simply not enough to balance out 9 months of misery.
Even if everything else in Las Vegas were great, the weather would have eventually made the town unlivable for me.
Your mileage will certainly vary.
2) The People
This competed for the top spot, but I had to give it #2 because I do still have about a dozen friends in town, and there are some good people in Vegas ... although they are very few and far between.
Las Vegas' reputation causes it to attract what I consider to be the bottom 10% of the US population. These are basically people who could not be successful anywhere else, mixed with country/suburban folks who are convinced that they can wash away their unglamorous pasts by bathing themselves in the bright neon of the Vegas Strip.
Frank Sinatra once sang about New York that if you could "make it there, you could make in anywhere", and to some extent, I agree. New York is a highly competitive Darwinian place where you must try very hard to stand out from the crowd. In general, posers and the untalented get weeded out quickly.
Las Vegas is the polar opposite of New York. It tends to attract a demographic of people who simply cannot make it "there" -- "there" being defined as any place that demands competence.
Lost your medical license in Chicago? Get a fresh start in Las Vegas. We're so desperate, we'll take anyone. Buy one of our houses, please.
Fondled one too many underaged girls as a history teacher in Boston? Get a fresh start in Las Vegas. If you have a pulse, you can teach here. Buy one of our houses, please.
Can't make change for a dollar? Come to Las Vegas where none of our cashiers can make change for a dollar. You'll fit right in. Buy one of our houses, please.
Too lazy to learn the English language? Hey, you're just the type of person we've been looking for. Buy one of our houses, then put a car up on blocks on the front yard. Please.
People often move to Las Vegas to re-invent themselves, and while this may not seem like a bad thing, it leads to a city without an identity because so many people here have an identity crisis.
In addition to those seeking out a more glamourous existence for themselves, the city also attracts a very large number of people with "get rich quick" mentalities. These people are convinced that they are going to come to Vegas and win a ton of cash right off the bat, and when this fails to happen (as it always does), they tend to become bitter, angry, and rude.
The last group of people that Las Vegas seems to attract is weirdos.
Now, there are generally two types of weirdos in the world:
- Introverted intellectuals, creative types, vegetarians, and the socially awkward;
- Creepy people of low intellect and stalker proclivities who seem like they probably have at least three decomposing bodies in their basement;
Las Vegas has a large number of weirdos, but absolutely zero of them are from category #1, and 100% of them are from category #2.
Places like Austin, Olympia, Portland, and Berkeley attract more of the former, while Las Vegas only attracts the latter. I don't know why this is.
Between the phony go-getter PR types, the aging degenerates, the third-world transplants, the scammers, the painfully illiterate, and the just plain creepy-weird ... I was never completely comfortable in Las Vegas.
If you fall into one of the above groups, then boy, do I have a city for you.
Buy one of our houses, please.
Comments
Pam
Wow ..Iam currently in the process of relocating to Vegas, and looking forward it .Thank you Johnny for your comment .
FormerVegasChick
From someone who has lived in Vegas 3 times in ten years, I have to say this article is spot-on & humorous. I recently chose to leave Vegas due to
1.) the economy = AND NO JOBS!
2.) The people in Vegas do suck for the most part.
3.) No one cares about your education, degree or any professional certificates you hold. It's all about your image and breast size. (I am a female with implants by the way...just calling it the way I see it.)
Although I disagree with the author's disdain for the weather. (I loved it, except the winters in Vegas are way too cold!) If the economy ever picked back up, I *might* consider round #4. But that is highly unlikely. America is f*cked.
Paul Shanahan
Las Vegas has a lot of positives and a lot of negatives. What really hurt Las Vegas more than anything was the continued out of control growth that the housing developers and casinos caused between 1990 through 2007. Both of these industries were making so much money during the boom years that they thought it would never end and they just kept building, building and
building.
The main casino culprit is Station Casinos which built way to many casinos for locals and went bankrupt. A couple of years with little or no growth will actually help Las Vegas and by the end of 2012 the economy will be much better in Las Vegas. Remember, patience is a virtue.
Y. Awn
Another "I'm too good for Vegas" post after 6 years of touting the joint. Change the name to "Oregon Rex" and be done with it. Oh, and talk about weirdoes? You're going to the motherlode. What a downhill slide this webpage has completed.
Claude Balls
Leave him alone, he's one of the smartest people on Earth! He told us so himself! Not smart enough to realize that it's dry and hot in the desert or that crime rates are higher in poorer neighborhoods, but smarter nonetheless.
G Mal
You spelled "Berkeley" wrong
Johnny
I live in Las Vegas close to Summerlin. I love it. Moved here from Austin four years ago to escape high humidity, mosquitoes and gridlock. I have been on the strip exactly once in 4 years! I frequent resorts west of the strip two or three times a week. The restaurants on the west side are great. My neighborhood grid is in the top 10% of lowest crime areas in the USA and wins first place in Las Vegas! I go for long walks before dawn without a care in the world.
It is all about doing your homework, which I did before I moved here. All of that paid off. I simply never go east of the strip. Nellis Blvd is the street of death. More auto accidents and crime occur on and around that street than almost anywhere in Las Vegas.
Using Rainbow Blvd as an east / west corridor keeps me off the highways. I can travel south to Blue Diamond and go to Silverton Casino which is a great place. M Resort has a great buffet and is only 7 minutes on I-15 once I'm on Blue Diamond.
Everything I need in the way of retail is available right on Rainbow Blvd.
I have great neighbors that I go out to restaurants and gambling with constantly.
Now for the good news! My property taxes are 1/7th of what I was paying for the same valuation in Texas! Yes, I pay $1,200 a year in property taxes vs. $8,100 in Texas. My electric bill dropped from $675 to $185 in the summer. My winter electric is about $55. My water bill is $18 in the summer vs. $130. My wastewater bill is $108 per year vs. $65 per month. Only my gas bill is higher, $19.00 per month average vs. $8.10 in Texas.
With five major grocery chains, the competition is fierce and prices are low. I pay $1.99 for boneless skinless chicken breasts which cost $5.35 in Austin. Basically, everything is substantially cheaper!
Nine months out of the year I ride the bus and leave the car at home so I get some exercise. Six blocks to the bus stop to hop a clean brand new double decker bus that runs 24/7. Can't do that in Texas!
I keep wondering where I would move if I left Las Vegas. I can't think of anywhere in the USA that offers the value and quality of living.
Harmy G
Only El Centro CA, Cleveland, and Detroit are worse places to live according to this list:
http://www.walletpop.com/blog/2010/08/05/10-worst-places-to-live/
sandy astroglide
I figured #1 would be the constant feeling of sand in your vagina.
keith
"You will turn off a lot of people that love vegas and want to hear positive not negative comments."
then they can go to any one of 1000 websites that do just that. this is one of the only honest blogs about vegas out there.
harvey cohen
Did you vere give any thought to waking up before noon and playing tennis, golf, or visiting a park ?
Rex:
Get real. Ever since you sold your soul to big corporate, your website has gone downhill anyway. Back when you were just plain old "vegas rex" and did the walk around videos of the strip with comments, were by far your better days.The last year or two, has been an ongoing disappointment. All you do is bash vegas as much as you can. You might as well change your name to Vegas Portland and be done. Continuing to bash the town that made you is just nuts. You will turn off a lot of people that love vegas and want to hear positive not negative comments.Do you really think that people out there dont know about the heat, the crime, the politics being played. Its a big city already and they all have negatives. Enough already.
The Fonz
It's hot and ridiculously humid by Minnesota standards right now. I biked 25 miles today and I thought I was going to die. It didn't help that I biked 100 miles on Saturday. I shouldn't have tried to bike 25 miles the day after, at least not at high noon under such detrimental conditions.
Vegas has dry heat, Minnesota has wet heat. Today reminded me that although I hate winter, I can't take months of suffering due to any kind of heat. I sampled July Nevada heat last month. It was dry, but it was too much for me to tolerate in a healthy dose.
This week in Minnesota may be nasty, and winter is highly depressing to me, but I need a climate I can embrace at least six months of the year, even if half the year is a loss.
I once thought it would be a gas to live in Vegas. Not any more. Thanks for reinforcing that.
Cal
Don't move to the Pacific Northwest where it rain's more then 95 percent of the year. You'll be more depressed than Kendall Gill was while playing for the Sonics. I've entertained the idea of moving to Las Vegas, basically cause I love to gamble, I have family there, more importantly the weather. I'm not knocking where I live cause I love everything about Washington except the continuing rainfall. The crime you brought up in you're article I think reflects mainly where you live "Rexville" try another location and see how it goes, before moving out here.
Snotick
#1 If you move to a desert climate, expect it to be hot. Duh!?!
#2 The closer you move to the US/Mexico border, the more non english speaking people you will encounter.
Can't wait to read 3-10
mike_ch
You spent the whole six years talking about how people in the old run-down ranch homes around downtown are such "real people" compared to the burb folks, and making slogans like "Keep Downtown Weird," talking up the crime as part of the charm. And yet at the end of the day... There's too many weird, criminal types about?
So, were you just fooling yourself about your ideal neighbours, or what?