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There Were Hot Tubs: Six Obituaries for TV Shows We Lost in 2012

JerseyShore

Each year new television shows are born, judged and given life.

Also, each year old shows are cancelled. As audience members we are forced to move on, take it in stride and hope we can find love again with something new.

Though the new shows might never take the place of old favorites in our hearts, we must forge ahead.

We will always have our memories of those departed programs to keep us warm at night as we sob into our Chardonnay and Smart Food and watch CSI: NCIS: Law & Order: Special Animal Trauma Unit.

Here’s a look at what was lost in 2012, from long-running series to brand new losers. Let’s hope the new life in 2013 brings us joy and happiness.

Gossip Girl

This series was born in September 2007. Promise, style and critical praise were early accomplishments for the fledgling series.

Fans adored the characters, from the beloved schemer Blair Waldorf to her dim-witted yet hot BFF, Serena, to the bad-boy who grew a heart, Chuck Bass, to mopey wannabe writer, Dan Humphrey and to weed-smoking pretty boy, Nate Archibald.

Fans also adored getting really, really, really involved in shipping these characters together, debating the merits of the various pairings and concocting combo-names for these pairings.

Gossip Girl leaves behind loving fans, confused fans, several dangling plot threads (what happened to that child Rufus and Lily gave away? Where is he now?) bow ties and headbands scattered around the upper eastside.

Make no mistake, though - it will be sorely missed.

Jersey Shore

Jersey Shore was born into the MTV world on December 3, 2009, and has delighted and repulsed television audiences ever since.

Cast members came and went. A smallm tanned woman was punched in the face by a dude and also enjoyed pickles.

Some dudes worked out and made out with chicks. People got very, very drunk. There were hot tubs.

At the tender age of three years old, this reality tv institution was put to rest.

These Guidos and Guidettes have transitioned into other fame-avenues, but Jersey Shore will always be their place of origin.

Goodbye, Jersey Shore. May we all remember your wisdom: Gym. Tan. Laundry.

The Killing

The Killing began as a remake of a Danish program that was very popular and very acclaimed.

Loyal fans tuned in all through the first season, hoping that this little show about cops and the murder of a teenage girl set in rainy Seattle would become the layered, character driven, emotionally poignant show it claimed to be.

Sadly, this did not come to fruition and it was widely heckled in its later years. Well, both years as it only survived on the air for two seasons.

It’s rumored that this show has been picked up by AMC with help from Netflix and will air a third season. I choose to not believe this and that like a dog who’s been hit by a car and is being kept alive on canine life support against the better judgement and humanity of all involved that this show will stay dead.

Rest in peace, The Killing. Or whatever.

Damages

A summer baby, Damages came into the world on July 24, 2007.

It was a critically well-received show for at least one season. Then the writing went off the rails and Glenn Close went into full Cruella De Ville mode, but overall the show will be known for its pretty great acting, numerous big-name guest stars and for being shot like Memento.

Yeah, sometimes it was confusing or frustrating or just plain bad. Sometimes it was genius.

Damages went from quality to crazy in a just a few short seasons, but now it is gone.

It should be noted that Ted Danson looked very handsome along the way.

Weeds

Weeds aired for the first time on Showtime in August of 2005 and concluded in September 2012. She survived eight seasons in a world that rarely lets a show live after one. Or even half of one.

Weeds was a grande dame in the world of scripted, cable television. The story of a young widow turning to shilling weed in her fancy, gated California community was refreshing and entertaining.

Again, what began as something interesting, subversive and yes, most importantly in the world of comedies, funny, turned down a strange road four seasons in and never really returned to form.

Like a cancer, the wild plots and implausible scenarios ravaged the body of the show, leaving a shell of what it once was.

We can only hope the marijuana eased some of that pain.

Animal Practice

Some shows die before their time and are forced into the grave without so much as a warning.

Some shows deserve no time at all.

After only a handful of extremely lacklustre episodes, this series was put out of its misery.

I’m pretty sure this show that was only alive for approximately 5 hours will be missed and mourned by no one.

But here’s a shout out to you anyway, show that featured a monkey as a main cast member.

Because everyone loves an adorable monkey. Especially in the face of terrible human writing


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