For certain celebrities, their big moments come when a new movie or album is released.
An accomplishment happens, basically.
For others, there’s perfume.
Fragrance launches have become an integral part of celebrity appearances and celebrity branding.
How will people know you’re marketable if you don’t have any smelly things to market?
Essence of This and Oil of That
A signature fragrance can be a lovely supplement to an already in motion press or promotional tour.
If you’ve got other things to promote, just throw some essence of this and oil of that together, get it out to a department store and you’re ready to roll with a little extra exposure and some sweet merch on the side.
Two big personalities just launched perfumes, so let’s compare these two divas and their new signature scents.
Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi
What: Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi’s Fragrance Launch for ‘Snookie Couture’
Where: Perfumania in New York City
What the perfume's name says: Snooki’s new scent is called "Snooki Couture."
It’s already trying to create an air of classiness and sophistication with just the name.
By adding the word "couture" she’s created the illusion that this will be like a couture garment: chic and enviable.
What the perfume says: The perfume is described as a mix of Meyer lemon and Fuji apple blossom mixed with pink honeysuckle and the base tones include cashmere wood and musk.
So, on paper it reads as tangy, sweet and musky, but all those things might not mix well.
Like a drink Snooki’s probably consumed at some club on the Jersey Shore. So, the perfume is saying that’s it’s consistent with the Snooki brand, even though the name is deceiving.
What the bottle says: The hot pink zebra print bottle with lime green accents gives off a distinct wild-housewife vibe.
And since she likes to accessorize, the bottle comes with two silvertone charms -- a heart and her nickname.
Neither is wearable, although you can maybe have them dangle from your cell phone. Or keychain. Or hair-bow.
This bottle says that it contains a really loud, pungent perfume, and if you don’t like it, you can just shut up and stop disrespecting.
What the launch outfit says: Everything about her look at the launch is sending mixed messages, like that mixed drink and perfume concoction.
The bright colors, the animal head pendant on the gold chain, the bejewelled bow in her hair, her very, very, very white teeth strapped together in her mouth in a way I’ve never seen veneers strapped together.
It looks like one long, horizontal stick of gum.
Black chains and gold chains layered and body-hugging, black vinyl leggings with cut-out lace panels complete the look.
She’s dressed to match the bottle, and for that I give her credit. Hot pink, with black accents. However, she’s missing the lime green
Her shoes are the big drawback for me. Why not reference the glowing lime green in the bottle with some nice platforms.
The outfit is saying, "I want everything to match, but even in that I failed a bit, whatever, where is that mixed drink?"
What the whole package is saying: The look says, this perfume is going to knock people off public transit, and out of office buildings with its potency.
That sounds about right.
What: Nicki Minaj’s ‘Pink Friday’ Fragrance Launch
Where: Macy’s in Queen’s Center Mall New York
What the perfume's name says: ‘Pink Friday’ is tame. Pink is a color that Nicki sports frequently, a shade her hair has taken, and her lips, cheeks and nails.
Friday evokes the start of the weekend. The name is saying that it’s ready to get dolled up and party. Let’s get pink, ammirite?
What the perfume says: The fragrance is described as “pink floral petals that whisper the sultry warmth of vanilla, skin musks and woods” on the Macy’s site.
The pink petals and vanilla seem pretty lovely, but then the skin musks just take pink into a whole other dirty, sextacular direction.
And woods. Yeah, this is saying, get dressed up, but don’t be alarmed if you end up boning some dude in the woods. It’s likely to happen.
What the bottle says: The bottle looks more like the usual Nicki Minaj than Nicki does.
It's dressed, as much as a bottle can be dressed, in a white tube dress and adorned with a gold necklace and gold accents. Oh yeah and a gold face!
Done up in platinum blonde, with blunt bangs and long, straight, hair, the top half of this bottle really completes the look.
It says, "this perfume looks like a woman that thinks a shiny gold face is cool. Either you’re going to want to be bold-smelling, or you’re going to barf."
What the launch outfit says: Minaj is looking demure!
And that might seem like something crazy to say about someone with a fluffy, pink weave, but this is a far cry from mesh, pleather, bare midriff and strategically placed strips of seat-belt fabric.
Known for her wild style, a pink pantsuit is tame.
A sensible black blouse with a pussy bow and geometric pink print? It’s downright cute is what it is.
Something that either the fun loving youngster in the office would wear, or the near-retirement woman who just loves getting funky with her clothes.
The outfit says, "try to ignore the previous thoughts you might have had about boning in the woods, and skin musks and focus on my sassy update of a classic look. And this is how you do a pink curl. Take that, poodles of the world."
Verdict: The outfit and the bottle seem more desirable than the contents of the bottle.
This says, "Look, I know the skin musks have turned you off, but think about the wild adventures you’re about to have in your demure life. Let’s play!"
Additional selling point: Crazy video for the perfume. There is so much going on in this thirty-second clip.