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Short Attention Span Viewing

ken marino

Sometimes life doesn’t afford all the time in the world to watch regular length television programs.

Most series are at least 13 episodes, and some go up to 22 per season. That’s a lot of 22, 44 and even 60 minutes of viewing in a week if you follow a decent amount of television.

If you rack up all those hours that you spend watching your favorite shows you might not even have time to work, make dinner or spend time with loved ones.

Unless they’re sitting beside you while you enjoy some Storage Wars.

Instead of hours, why not try minutes?

Here are some excellent and extremely hilarious suggestions of 10 minutes or less of internet brilliance.

These three web series are a great way to spend a lunch hour (not that it’ll take an hour to watch an episode), a quick break during housework or as a nightcap before bed.  

Revel in their comedic brilliance. Wonder at how producers didn’t think of them first.

Ken Marino’s Burning Love

Opening line: “Last season on Burning Love Joe Rutherford found the love of his life in water aerobics instructor Symphony Hodge.“

Symphony is the best reality tv name ever!

This inspired series takes on the already hilarious shows The Bachelor, and its sister show The Bachelorette. If you’ve ever been unfortunate (or fortunate, depending on your ability to withstand severe pain) enough to see The Bachelor you know how awful it is.

How offensive and blatantly absurd and completely misleading. No one is finding love on that show aside for the love each contestant/potential soulmate feels about him or herself.

Ken Marino, creator of this masterpiece along with his wife Erica Oyama, is note perfect as sexy fireman Mark Orlando. His bachelorettes deftly poke fun at the women who strive for love on camera.

Malin Akerman as the homeless bachelorette who’s not looking for love, but a roof over her head, is a stand out. And overachieving Christian Kristen Bell is no slouch either.

It’s a shame to not include all of them, but there’s only so much space.

Burning Love improves greatly on both those shows by pointing out just how terrible the idea of trying to find love on a dating reality show is.

Other fine points include emphasising how ridiculously misogynist The Bachelor is, showing how catty and horrible women can be to each other when looking for love and/or fame and how reality shows love to include all the stereotypes, even some form of disability. 

    When Mark Orlando asks, “will you accept my hose?”  you will undoubtedly say yes.

    Childrens' Hospital

    Opening line: “Previously on Childrens 'Hospital.“

    This starts off every episode, along with scenes that have never taken place on the show. Ballsy and funny.

    Childrens' Hospital is in its fourth season and as funny as ever. Rob Corddry’s take on hospital melodramas is absurd, clever and hilarious.

    Like Grey’s Anatomy, the extreme drama of their love lives takes up most of these doctors precious work hours. Instead of curing sick children they’re playing doctor with each other.

    And if they’re not getting hot and heavy in the ER they’re trying to one up each other to varying degrees of success in their actual line of work: doctoring.

    The cast is sublime. Rob Corddry plays Dr. Blake Downs, a doctor in clown make-up who cures with the healing power of laughter. Megan Mullally slays as the sexy Chief everyone wants to impress and sleep with, her canes and crippled body a sexual stimulant like no other.

    Lake Bell as the often clueless and unlucky in love Dr. Cat Black falls in love with a child with advanced aging disease. Nick Kroll as that child is both winsome and creepy.

    Whether falling in love with each other, their patients or a guest star who just happens to come by Childrens' Hospital, this show does not disappoint.

    I mean, if you like really edgy comedy mixed with slapstick and writing sharp as a scalpel.

    The Onion: Sex House

    Opening line: “Six sexy Americans alone in a house with nothing to do but get nasty.”

    What more do you need to know? Nothing.

    The Onion, purveyors of satire and parody galore, got on the reality tv train with their new web series, Sex House.

    Instead of waiting for action on The Real World, Jersey Shore or Big Brother, the fine folks at The Onion cut to the chase: the house is made for sex. Televised sex, for people to watch.

    They’ve nailed the tone of people looking to get famous for being outrageous and shameless. In the first episode, “Meet the Nymphos,” they introduce the cast of characters - all archetypes of other reality shows:

    • The Douche
    • The Slutty Girl
    • The Cool Chick
    • The Naïve Country Bumpkin
    • The Happily Married Father
    • The Super Hot Gay Dude

     

    It’s hard to believe this isn’t a real show with non-actors who aren’t intentionally funny.

    With a premise this perfect, it’s embarrassing to be in the television game. But satire is always better than the real thing.

    This show has it all. Bleeped profanity and blurred dildos galore and, of course, red cups. There’s even a sex counter.

    Again, really hard to believe no reality show has ever considered using a sex counter. It just makes sense!

    You’re going to want to move into the Sex House. With your eyes I mean. And ears.

    Because living in that house is some really funny stuff.


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