The internet can be a strange and awkward place.
Sure, you can look up stats on your favourite squash players, or check out the current temperatures in Kalamazoo.
You can upload videos of your cat breeding a dog. You can say whatever you want about whatever images come your way.
It’s a level playing field, where anyone can be the Judge Wapner of the Interwebs People’s Court.
It’s also the place where teen girls can be harassed by people that barely know them based solely on what they’re wearing.
Fun! It’s a magical place where the super moral forces known as bloggers can talk about why girls are sluts
The Key Word is Girls
Girls. Most of them truly are girls. Under eighteen and ready to be "mean girled."
It’s almost summer. And it’s only going to get hotter and sunnier and more summery as the months go on.
And that means more people are going to wear less clothing. And that means lots of people are going to get crazy ragey about things.
I am one of those people.
It’s the Hatred about their Outfits
Heat started seeping in and I got to feeling angry and it was because of this:
It’s not that I think Kris Jenner should be asking paps (or paying them, or whatever she does) to photograph her daughters, whether they’re wearing bikinis or turtlenecks, because she should not be doing that.
It’s the hatred about their outfits.
Let’s break down the title of the post.
So Everyone’s Cool with Kendall and Kylie Jenner in Bikinis Because Their Mom’s the Devil? Got it.
“So Everyone’s Cool with Kendall and Kylie Jenner in Bikinis.” Full stop.
This seems fine to me. Yes. Everyone should be cool. Let’s move on.
“Because Their Mom’s the Devil? Got it.” Some parts of this are correct.
Well, correct in a totally hyperbolic way. Kris Jenner does put her daughters in the public eye. A lot.
So maybe she could be considered the devil, for causing them to be subjected to this kind of horrible commentary.
However, the reason people are okay with it, or should be, is not contingent on their mom being the devil.
That’s a pretty stupid reason. Right? Like, as a headline, the whole thing, it just doesn’t make sense.
The post kind of has nothing to do with them wearing bikinis, or the aforementioned turtlenecks that they’re not wearing.
Putting a Mean Girl Out of A Slut-Shaming Job
Also, why is a grown-ass man going to the trouble of being uppity about some teens girls?
Does he not understand that he’s taking away the important role of another teen girl? Does he not see that he’s putting a mean girl out of a job?
How is a mean girl supposed to feel superior while she’s slut-shaming another teen girl if a professional blogger is already doing it?
She’s doing it for free, for the fight to survive, and he’s getting paid. It just seems obscene.
The message seems to be let’s hate everyone for wearing clothes! Because in truth, a bikini is still clothes.
And in truth, people who are at the beach often wear bikinis. Because they are useful for harnessing the rays of the sun in order to mute paleness, and also for staying cool and even more importantly they were created for swimming in oceans and lakes and pools.
That’s right, as seemingly slutty as bikinis might appear, they are in fact a form of clothing and totally acceptable!
Are They Wearing Baby-Skin Bikinis? No.
Why do people care if girls are wearing bkinis?
They are totally allowed because they are humans, who are warm and want to sun bathe.
Are they wearing baby skin bikinis? No. If so, then fine. Lose your minds, Internet hive.
Could you imagine iif these girls were fat and in bikinis? Their mother probably wouldn’t have paid the paparazzi to take their pictures.
But, if she did, the photos would be even more brutally scrutinized. So I guess it’s good that they also weren’t eating ice cream in the photos.
It’s not so much what girls are wearing as how we’ve decided to discuss their outfits.
It’s nothing new to talk about how absurd it is too see girls wearing skimpy clothing, as there’s nothing new in talking about how inappropriate that clothing is.
If a famous teen girl was wearing traditional Mormon clothing would we not be just as outraged that she was being oppressed by the forces of clothing, even though maybe it was her choice?
I’ll answer for you. Yes, there would be outrage.
Vagina-Skimming Gowns are Beautiful
For the people featured on TLC’s My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding it’s all about morals, and rules, and a sense of respect for young women and their virtue.
But the girls featured on that show, attending big parties and weddings aren’t wearing full body, up-to-the-neck cotton calico purity dresses.
They’re wearing sequined booty shorts and sparkly bra tops.
When they emerge from their bridal chambers to be walked down the aisle, mothers and fathers are weeping with joy at their precious, pure virginal daughters in wedding dresses as big as bouffants in the back as they are tiny and bar-star like in front.
A gargantuan, poufy mullet of a wedding dress. To them, those booty shorts, those vagina-skimming gowns, are beautiful.
The parents of these gypsy brides and brides-to-be are pleased with these fashion choices.
They tell their daughters they’re beautiful. The virtue they admire isn’t reflected in their clothing.
Before Long They’ll Be Hating Their Bodies Like Everyone Else
The rest of the fashion-conscious world is doing pretty much the same thing. Dressing to impress, whatever that means to them.
For generations and generations and generations teen girls have worn clothing for reasons that make sense only to them.
They want to wear what they see in magazines, they want to attract boys, they want to look hot, they want to be cool, they want to wear the clothes their friends are, or the friends they want are wearing or the opposite of the kids they don’t identify with.
If they don’t hate their bodies, let them enjoy feeling comfortable in those bikinis on hot summer days.
Before long, they’ll be hating their bodies and themselves and spending all their free time trolling the internet, looking for young girls to rage about.