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Charlie Sheen Wants Miley Cyrus to Come Over and Watch TV

Miley

Sometimes people make choices.

They decide to stop eating meat and get into the vegetarian scene and become soy devotees and tout the virtues of lentils.

Or they get really involved in a particular religion that they talk about with reverence and also they start wearing cloaks made of sinews and stuff.

Or they simply decide to cut their hair.

Remember Felicity

Celebrity hair cuts are always big news.

Remember that show Felicity? When that character cut off her long, curly, renn faire hair people lost their minds.

And then the show started failing in the ratings and people blamed it on her hair, but really the writing became a failure in its depiction of that character and her hair was merely a depressed manifestation of that. Or something.

So, yes, sometimes there are haircuts. Such a haircut took place this month.

The Hair in Question

The hair in question was on the head of Miley Cyrus.

But now there is just a little bit of hair left. The most intriguing news is that, potentially, Miley Cyrus only has her real hair and no extensions.

I find this to be sort of impressive and cray news.

So, first she bleaches her hair. This is an offence like no other to certain MC fans.

But, before they can even take a minute to cross-reference their Hannah Montana commemorative plates, she goes and gets a haircut.

And this is one of those short haircuts that are so divisive in the land of pop culturally relevant stuff.

People Are Not Into This Haircut

Miley tweets all this. She gets on Instagram. There are photos.

Twitter blows up. People are not into this haircut. People have so many mean things to say.

Scissors did not know the fury they unleashed. That pair of scissors has not been reached for comment.

Even regular non-famous people are also judging Miley! Miley fans and non-fans alike.

They are like way into haircuts and especially hers and want to go off on their hair feelings.

Let’s take a look.

jessica hallam ‏@Jess_Hallam

I used to be really jealous of miley cyrus until I saw her hair cut.

dear miley cyrus ur hair still isn't cute

Rushabh Parikh ‏@Babe_Rush

Miley Cyrus's hair is making my eyes bleed

Yeah! Young girls are mean to other girls. Newsflash!

Oh. My. God. I wish there was equality.

I hope that every time someone cuts his or her hair that he or she is mercilessly mocked on the Internet.

Also, some dude thinks that Ms. Cyrus looks like she is into Hitler. This is not troubling at all!

The Man of Many STIs Weighs In

On the other hand there appears to be another unofficial campaign featuring celebrities!

It goes like this: (Insert Celebrity Name Here) loves Miley Cyrus’ new hair!

Thank deity someone likes her damn hair! I was starting to get worried. Oh wait, I still am.

On another hand (yes, three hands) Charlie Sheen also hit on Miley via Twitter as a result of her new haircut, which the man of many STIs finds extremely fetching:

Charlie Sheen ‏@charliesheen

Idk, w/that new haircut Miles . . . You're the [bomb icon.] Come watch the show at my place! XO.

Yeah, Charlie Sheen wants Miley Cyrus to come over and watch tv.

Awesome. This is going so well.

Miley's Bun

Her now-gone-from-her-head hair has its own Twitter account.

Apparently, those now shorn locks mourn and cry for their fate.

Miley's Bun ‏@Mileys_Bun

I'm too young to die @MileyCyrus !!!!!

Miley's Bun ‏@Mileys_Bun

Noooooooooooo RT“@MileyCyrus

Thankfully, in the weeks since the cut Miley’s Bun has begun to feel good again, to live freely and even enjoy tweeting again.

Damn, Bun’s going to fashion week:

Miley's Bun ‏@Mileys_Bun

How many buns will be at this years #NYFW? I mean we're sooo HIGH fashion, literally.

Until we finally are gifted with the Miley Cyrus haircut rock opera of all our hopes and dreams we’ll just have to ignore all the stupid crap that goes on around it.

I’m sure if Miley’s new haircut had a Twitter account it would just want us all to let it be the best damn bleached blonde cropped haircut it can be.

That’ll do, haircut. That’ll do.


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